Riverdale Season 4 Episode 18 Recap: ‘Lynchian’
In spring, a young man’s fantasy turns slightly into thoughts of cheating on his girlfriend with his best friend’s girlfriend. Archie channels his frustration into strumming my guitar in a bad mood for what feels like 10 cumulative hours while Betty reads her old diary entries about falling chastely in love with her red-haired neighbor as a little girl. I admit that the scenes of Baby Betty and Baby Archie playing together are, objectively, sweet, but on the one hand, they used the same young actress from the Caramel the Cat – blunt incident, and I always wonder how many pets she’ll kill out of pity as soon as she gets out of the frame. But there is also this: children eat boogers and believe in the tooth fairy. I see little romance in leaving the fate of my adult bliss in the hands of my 6 year old self, to whose tastes Fun Dip was a light and refreshing dessert for a sophisticated palate. (Having said that, I want Fun Dip now.)
And so Archie and Betty find themselves lying next to each other on the bed in the bunker (did we get more mileage with just one? Riverdale together? God bless you, bunker, teen sex, suicide, and sectarian activity site that would look like an absolute Jackson Pollock monster show under black light), engaging the most exciting innocent hand in history human sexuality. Cleanse sin from your heart with the flames of the 60,000 sexy candles currently burning next to you children! The next morning, they agree that they can’t stop thinking about each other and decide to meet at the bunker the following night.
As their girlfriend-sister (you know, like, respectively) contemplates an affair, Jughead and Charles team up to hunt down the Riverdale voyeur, going through endless grainy surveillance footage from the video drop boxes at the station of the sheriff and the local FBI. HQ. From around three discernable pixels, Jughead improbably recognizes Ethel Muggs – whose deprogramming seems to have gone well, so much the better for her! – but she denies any involvement in the Bughead Masked Murderer Video.
Hiram and Veronica coldly inform each other that they are expanding their respective rum brands to serve all of the gambling establishments owned by Elio’s Pizza and Sweetwater Casino pizzas (him) and college kids (her), with a new affordable bev. called Maple Claw – there are no laws, baby.
A bunch of bald, sketchy guys dressed in flannel and sheepskin lined jackets (that’s a look!) Pay a not-so-friendly visit to Veronica and Cheryl at the Maple Club. They are the Maloy family, the first maple scavengers in the Riverdale metropolitan area. MaBoys don’t like competition in the college market. Veronica, furious that her father is apparently interfering with his affairs by proxy again, refuses to back down.
Once Reggie arrives on Kevin and Fangs counting big stacks of cash, it’s only a matter of time before he, too, makes an appearance in a lucrative video. And then it’s only a matter of time before Reggie insists that the boys ditch Terry, go it alone, and keep 100% of the profits from their own paid tickle site. And so Kevin cuts ties with Terry, claiming he’s worried that his father finds out about the tickling. Reggie successfully recruits both the Bulldogs and Vixens as a talent, with Toni’s condition that it’s the girls, not the boys, who do all the touching in the “Tickle Suite”.
Believing their suspicious video to be a movie buff, Jughead and Charles visit the Blue Velvet video store (the title of this episode is “Lynchian” for a reason), a dark and delightfully drab hole in the wall with twinkling lights. , a cartoonishly sinister trader, and an overall kitschy creepo energy to which I truly respond. I only wish we could spend more time here! Lo and behold, customer records reveal that Ethel hired Friday 13 16 times, a fact Charles eagerly interprets as proof of his moral turpitude. Is this how we pursue people in the United States of America in 2020? If you look Friday 13 16 times it’s a crime, I’m going to handcuff myself. Charles thinks that Ethel – who also happens to be the president of the school’s AV club – is a prime suspect, but Jughead won’t accept that.
After the MaBoys trash the Maple Club, Veronica confronts her father about his apparent interference. Rather than confess, Hiram is horrified to hear that these “dangerous” thugs are getting her into trouble. She refuses his offer to intervene on his behalf, but Hiram doesn’t care. He accosts a MaBoy in an alleyway and shoots a gun at him but lets the man go when he swears he’ll leave Veronica alone. Is it zont? My hygiene meter is broken. But no action, even semi-good, goes unpunished: the MaBoy catches up with Hiram and beats him very, very badly. At the Pembroke, Veronica finds Hiram in terrible, bleeding form all over their pretty, uncleanable setting. She lovingly tends to the wounds of shirtless Mark Consuelos, and for a moment I have to severely remind me this is a father-daughter scene and I’m disgusting.
Terry and his minions ambush Kevin at Pop’s, demanding 40% of the profits from his new, already successful videos, or they’ll snap their fingers. But Reggie has a plan. Summoned to a room at the Five Seasons, Terry & Co. find a locker room of football players (like “murder” for crows, “locker room” is the appropriate collective name for football players) waiting for them, threatening some violence in the room. which snapping your fingers is just the beginning. Team work!
But then Honey summons Kevin, Fangs, Reggie, and Toni to her office: he knows about the tickling ring. And he’s not, shall we say, tickled, given that their videos feature Bulldogs and Vixens uniforms and therefore constitute copyright infringements. The tickling jig may be in place, but the future is at least a little bright nonetheless: Kevin is on his way to Carnegie Mellon and Fangs at the University of Pittsburgh, two educational institutions that they acknowledge are find them at a distance. one another.
Archie and Betty, their hearts pounding and palms sweating in the death love bunker, are also far removed from the relationship. He plays her a song he wrote for her, but she stops him in tears halfway. She loves Jughead, he loves Veronica – they can’t do that. It’s finish. Back home, Archie – who, frankly, seemed like he was ready to dive with Betty and neuralize Veronica from his brain forever, have a good life, thank you for all the mysteriously original Magnolia cupcakes – said to his mother that he is ready for a “New Beginning” at the Naval Academy. Betty burns her childhood diary in the living room fireplace, inhaling untold volumes of pink plastic fumes in the process, but then decides to stick with just one, at Alice’s suggestion. (Maybe true Barches love after all …)
Charles searched Ethelâ € ™ s house and made a disturbing discovery: Betty and Jughead’s sex tape. Confronted with Jug, Ethel says she stumbled upon it in the “Scarlet Suite” (how many “sequels” is there in this episode, anyway? You could say it’s … a Life continued, isn’t that right, Cole?) at the back of the video store, which houses a weird, dark selection that includes sex tapes and maybe even snuff movies. Betty and Jughead’s tape was labeled, shockingly, “Ponytail Playmate.” Ethel swears she stopped watching once she realized what it was and only hung on to make sure no one else would see.
So the FBI is raiding the mysterious, adults-only Scarlet suite, which we know is outrageous because it carries a neon sign that reads “XXX.” There, they find, among other disturbing quirks, a tape of Clifford Blossom shooting his son.
Cheryl has drunk too deeply into the black tumbler that is the maple rum trade, and she and Veronica are dissolving their partnership in the traditional way, via a business hug. To the surprise of no one more than Hiram – although, alright, also to the surprise of anyone who has kept even the loosest tabs on the wrongdoing of the Patriarch of the Lodge as extensively documented in the last few seasons of this show. television – Veronica asks her for money to buy back Cheryl. That he spared MaBoy is proof that he’s changed for the better, she says. What V doesn’t know is that Hiram has already taken revenge by shooting another MaBoy. Or maybe the same MaBoy. Do the MaBoys themselves even know for sure?
Terry may not have disclosed the tickle site to Honey after all. Who else but the principal of our school himself should arrive at the Blue Velvet video store and express their displeasure that the Scarlet suite is being shut down by order of law enforcement? I knew this guy was weird as hell.
Bughead, back in action, is called up to Thistlehouse, where Cheryl received another disturbing tape: this one also features live actors in bizarre Archie Comics masks, but this time it’s Jason’s murder that ‘they restore.